Yo Cuento: Then & Now

por Laura Flores

Climbing My Own Mountains

The Start of Something

I remember one night watching a team of men climb a snow capped mountain. As grueling as it looked, it ignited something inside me, and with excitement and hope, I told my dad I would do that one day. His response was less than desirable, “You can’t do things like that plus how would you get there?” Doubt masked with sarcasm is something I grew up with but it didn’t stop me from dreaming.

My family and others in my community have historically been told what we can and cannot do because of the color of our skin, the language we speak, our socio-economic status, where we live, and where we have come from. Opportunities to connect to nature have been vital in rebuilding self-confidence, self-reliance, mental and physical well-being, and pushing myself to know what I am capable of and, in turn, what my community is capable of.

Wild Curly Haired Kid

I was the wild curly hair kid who only looked forward to waking up and climbing my tree, playing in the mud, and riding my bike until the street lights came on. When your option was either to stay inside and clean or go outside and play, the decision felt like a no brainer. When I wasn’t outside imagining being in a jungle or on a tall mountain I was watching explorers on Nova with my dad. 

I grew up in New Mexico and Southern California, surrounded by mountains, rivers, the ocean and rich culture. Southern California tended to lend itself to warm summer days where we would visit my abuelos house. When we entered the gate my nose was immediately filled with the fragrant sweet smell of pink and red roses in the front yard and we were welcomed by fresh avocados, lemons, and oranges in the backyard. My grandfather worked as a lechero, a milker, on a cow farm. He loved agriculture and shared his passion with his children and grandchildren. 

“I loved playing in the dirt, making mud pies, and gardening with my dad. It was always amazing to witness a tiny seed grow and be cooked by my mom into a delicious meal.”

Moving from California–which is gorgeous but often overcast from smog–to New Mexico, a wide open space with clear beautiful mountains and bright stars, was a game changer. We even moved into a house with a backyard. I loved playing in the dirt, making mud pies, and gardening with my dad. It was always amazing to witness a tiny seed grow and be cooked by my mom into a delicious meal. My favorite was calabacitas with onion, tomato, and a little bit of cheese sprinkled on top. More precious than the food, was the time we spent gardening. 

Time in the garden almost softened my dad and allowed him to speak freely about his complicated past. In doing so, he’d try to educate me about the hate in this world. Like many other Chicanos of his generation, he was punished for speaking Spanish throughout his education. He would often talk about his family and growing up. Despite not having much, my abuelo would still make time to take him and his siblings outdoors. My dad knew this tradition needed to continue, and for that, I will always be thankful. Sometimes we would be in the garden so long the stars would come out. 

 When we went camping, it wasn’t fancy. Our gear mostly consisted of the pots and pans we had in the kitchen and the comforters straight from our beds. I would spend hours exploring and chasing after the lizards and toads scampering around the desert floor. When it was time to hike, we put on our chanclas or tennis shoes from Kmart; they got us there just fine. 

I was very fortunate to grow up in a state that lends itself to the outdoors, but I only became aware of this when I was much older. As time passed, our camping trips became less frequent. I remember people saying there was never anything to do in our state. Suggestions of what to do would vary but were rarely positive. We were surrounded by nature and beauty but were only aware of the glimpses our parents showed us growing up. It was easy to be sucked into negative feelings about where we lived, and oftentimes, it led to negative choices like doing drugs or drinking to entertain ourselves. 

One summer, I recall my sister got into a little bit of trouble and was put in a detention center. She was one of the “lucky” youth to be given a rehabilitation rafting trip. Although I agree the outdoors is therapeutic and can change mindsets, I had to ask, why did she have to get in trouble to be introduced to such an amazing outdoor experience? Why were activities like this only reserved for people who could afford them unless court ordered? Her experience initially built a sense of anger and disgust, which then turned into passion. I knew I needed to be more involved in reshaping the outdoors for my community. 

The LO Life

One day, scrolling through IG posts, I saw our wedding photographers’ repost of Latino Outdoors (thanks, Ashley)! I was immediately interested. In 2019, LO did not have a program coordinator in the region, and the wonderful Ruby, LO’s Director of Programs and Operations, asked if I would be interested. Honestly, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

Since volunteering for LO, I have been extended incredible opportunities like becoming an Environmental Education of New Mexico Fellow, trusted to assist with Outdoor FUTURE Initiative, sitting on the board for Mana de Albuquerque, traveling and meeting other dedicated volunteers from across the country, being Wilderness First Aid trained, and most importantly, hosting purposeful outings for our New Mexico youth. As a bonus, I got to try many outdoor activities for the first time. There were times I was nervous because I did not know everything (who does), but these experiences have helped me slow down, respect the learning process, and reframe my appreciation for the outdoors.

Full Circle

This past year in October 2022, I was asked to hike with a group of indigenous women to Sagarmatha, Mt Everest Base Camp . My son was only one at the time and my daughter was three. I had not been “keeping” up with my cardio for a trip like this. 

I had every excuse in the book not to go, but my husband, who always has my back, said, “when will you ever get an opportunity like this again? Go, I will watch the kids. They will be fine. You have to do this!”  

Childhood memories flooded my brain, watching those men climb mountain peaks and now knowing I could be doing the same. So I went.

Initially, this trip meant being able to prove to myself that I could do it, but it turned into so much more. Letters from family and friends expressed how much this trip meant to them. I would be the first person in their circle to hike Everest Base Camp! For some, I would be the first person to travel that far or even fly in a plane. Was it scary or hard to leave my family? The short answer is yes, but I knew I had to go. 

By going, I knew it would build excitement about traveling for my students. Every day I was asked a new question about Nepal. By going, I felt like I would open a door for women of color, like myself, who are also moms and who might have difficulty navigating the home-work-self-care balance. We don’t have to stop doing the things we love, the things that excite us, or make us who we are. The hike was for my sister who passed away, to promote more options to help people struggling with mental health issues. She would have been the first and last person in my DM’s asking me about the food, the views, and what I was going to bring her back. 

“We were all invited from different places and different circles, but we were there for each other.”

The hike itself was remarkable. The empowering women I hiked with came from Arizona, Canada, Colorado, Alaska, and New Mexico, with incredible stories of their own. Each morning we would start with a sage circle and say a personal prayer, and each night my roommate Gabaccia and I would giggle deliriously until we fell asleep. Every day we were given a word to reflect on, and we would share our thoughts each night. There was laughter and oftentimes tears. 

On one particular day I remember hiking and feeling the urge to cry. It was like my body had been bottling years of emotions that needed to be released. Initially, I almost felt a sense of shame, but there was no judgment, just hugs and understanding.  We were all invited from different places and different circles, but we were there for each other. The seafoam colored river, the views, Dal Bhat Power 24 hours,  the piercing wind blowing sand in our faces is something I will always remember, but the lesson learned on the mountain from our guides and each other is something I will always take with me. 

The why

Some of my best memories are seeing students and my children smiling from ear to ear, taking in nature, and asking hundreds of questions about the world around them. The benefits of the outdoors have been proven time after time. I will continue to fight and advocate for these safe outdoors spaces. Where our youth and their families can learn and explore. Where our own stories and traditions from our ancestors will continue to be passed down. A space where we all belong, our comunidad.


Laura Flores (she/her) is Chicana with roots in California and New Mexico. She has been an elementary educator for over 12 years. Her desire to share safe, fun, and accessible opportunities is deeply rooted in her community. As the  Program Coordinator, she believes by providing outdoor connections to the youth of New Mexico she is creating a love for her state, deeper awareness for local and global conservation, and joyful experiences which will continue for generations.


How I ended up offroading, living nomadically, and advocating for women of color.

por Xoshil Morales

Yo Cuento: I count, I matter, I tell

I love how Latino Outdoors chose that trifold slogan for their blog series. As an introvert, I’m not very good at talking about myself. As an OCD person, I postponed writing this blog because I couldn’t gather my thoughts in perfect continuity. Life, sickness, and overseas travel also kept me from writing it, but deep down I knew I was afraid to tell my story. 

But here I am. It’s time!

I’m Xoshil Yahaira Morales Venegas. That’s indeed a very long name. A name I chose to hide for a while because I thought it was limiting my opportunities. I remember sending job applications as Xoshil Morales and getting declined right away. But when I chose to use the name, Zoey Morales, I got several job offers.

The caucasianization, or whitewashing, of my name, resulted in an outpour of opportunities. I didn’t edit my resume, I didn’t take classes. I didn’t do anything different. I simply chose to use a name that did not scare people away.

But now, seven years later, I’m ready to give it up.

In the lower barracks in Orderville, Utah, I felt mother earth and my ancestors calling me and saying it’s time to be you. I was listening to Danit, and the fire was burning strong, keeping my feet warm on a cold winter night. It was only me, the fire, the river, and the stars.

The realization that I had been betraying my people by using a name that wasn’t my own and didn’t represent my culture hit me like a heavy punch in my chest. I remember crying and apologizing as I held cold sand in my hands. Then I sipped on my water and wiped my tears away. Since then, I’ve dedicated several hours to opening doors for BIPOC women and myself.

I chose to stand strong in my roots, to call my ancestors and ask for their guidance. It’s been a beautiful rough path. But I have them by my side, and I’m not a weak one. So how did I end up living in a 4Runner, why do I love offroading, and how do I implement these things to fight for BIPOC representation in the outdoor industry?

Offroading

I was living in Louisiana, working a 9-5. One day my then-boyfriend called and said he had been laid off from the oilfield. My first and only reaction was, “That’s awesome. Now I can quit too, and we can move.” We had been watching Bound For Nowhere on YouTube and were craving adventure. A few weeks later, we had gotten rid of everything we had in our two bedroom apartment and were on our way to Colorado. 

We left most of our stuff in Amarillo, TX, and only took the basics with us. He had a 4Runner. I had a mid-size Mitsubishi Outlander. And that’s how it all began. Little by little, I overcame my fear of ledges, narrow trails, and rock crawling.

Eventually, I sold the Outlander and bought a 1998 4Runner. I started learning mechanics with the help of YouTube and amazing friends who were willing to teach me. I am now an intermediate offroader and couldn’t imagine living any other way.

I have been honored to become an onX offroad mapper. I’ve won the lottery with EDGE to learn fly fishing and other skills that will add value to my current lifestyle. My goal is to learn as much as possible so that I can teach others. I am nothing without a community. I want to show women of color what they’re capable of.

Living Nomadically

The options were, going back to a 9-5 to afford an apartment that was always empty (because I was always in the mountains) or move into my 4Runner full-time. As you can tell, the latter won. I have zero regrets about living in my truck.

It made me resilient, gave me thick skin, and taught me the value of self-reliance. I have met amazing people on the road and seen more sunsets than I can remember. Giving my dog, Jack, a happy outdoor life is priceless to me.

People ask me if I miss toilets and hot showers. The answer is; sometimes. Yes, I’m human. Harsh winters, hot summers, and sickness can make you crave normative households. But when I wake up in the middle of the desert or see the moonrise, I don’t miss anything at all. The good will always overshadow the bad in the forest.

Inclusivity

I’ve recently started using my voice to advocate for women. All women, of course, but especially women of color. We, colored ladies, face many other issues that some do not. Unfortunately, racism is still out there, even from our own. So I will be the stubborn woman standing up for the ones who don’t know how and offering them a safe space. 

I make it a point to share content that inspires women to be themselves, drop societal roles, and find their passion. Life’s too short to live it under other people’s lenses. I love telling young girls that skills, humbleness, and community are far more important than looks and status.


I want to be a great role model to my nieces and all the brown girls out there. Writing for social change, advocating for inclusivity, and creating content that shows representation is what I love. In Latino communities, safe spaces are scarce. We can be the generation to change that. Our girls deserve better, so use your voice to heal and inspire.


Xoshil (pronounced so-chill) Morales is a full-time nomad from Costa Rica exploring the US via an old trusty 4Runner. Xoshil loves writing, creating, playing guitar, and cooking delicious meals.