Gaining Experience

por Sonya Pendrey

Although I grew up hiking, camping, and backpacking with my father, and began working as a camp counselor at a women-run backpacking camp by the age of sixteen, when I first entered the outdoor education field as my area of study in university and career, I faced a lot of doubt from my fellow, typically white, male, co-workers and bosses. This was extremely difficult for me, as my skills and competence had never been doubted before by my father or bosses who had been women. Feelings of not being good enough and foolish, hopeless even, began to bring me down as the negative external forces slowly crept their way into my mind.

Over time, although I was gaining experience, leading outdoor groups became more nerve wracking instead of less because of the pressure that was now present. I felt that a slip up not only reflected poorly upon myself and made me seem like a ‘silly woman’ who didn’t deserve to be working alongside my male colleagues, but also made all women attempting to gain esteem in the outdoor industry look silly. I didn’t want to misrepresent my entire gender.

Of course, I also had to face the fact that I didn’t quite blend into the whiteness of the industry. Because my heritage is split, half Latinx and half a mix of white, Jewish European, that until someone realizes my curly hair is not a ‘Jew fro’ but indeed a signal of my Latinx genetics, I am ‘white enough’ for them to say racist statements or offensive jokes in front of me. As a method of self preservation, I developed a desensitivity to problematic microaggressions about race and awful pronunciations of words in Spanish by the people around me. I felt I couldn’t speak out, correct their behavior or mispronunciations. I felt shrunken down, invisible, robbed of the empowerment my outdoors skills and knowledge had always provided for me, and undeserving of my leadership position.

“My job became more fulfilling than before, and my mental health and self-confidence recovered”.

Sonya Pendrey


So what did I do? I accepted a job at an outdoor education afterschool program run by a woman who, although she was white, spoke fluent Spanish. She also provided enough financial aid to anyone who applied to her program for them to attend, to the best of her ability. This made her program the most racially diverse in the area. My job became more fulfilling than before, and my mental health and self-confidence recovered.

I will leave you with this: if you see a problem in the industry in which you are working, do not remain compliant! Look for job opportunities that uphold the same values as yourself and dedicate your time and effort to helping them succeed.


Finding Time to Play Afuera: By Lylianna Allala

 

griphoist

Working on a trail crew for the United States Forest Service based out of the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie Ranger District in North Bend, WA, circa 2009.

I’m not sure if being the oldest of four or being raised with a mezcla of Midwestern/Tejan@/Mexican@ work ethic or just being a plain old human being is a factor in this but, it’s easy for me to get carried away with “work”. “Work” looks different for everybody. For me, I lead with my heart and my work is driven by my passion for social justice, environmental justice, and equity. I love getting young people outdoors! I love fostering community for people of color who care about environmental issues. I am passionate about working towards gender equity. I care deeply about my family; blood and chosen and I love being outside!

Maybe this will resonate for you too. Because my heart drives my work, many times I can get caught up in the grind of preparing for presentations, coordinating meetings, working on organizational change strategies, representing organizations that I work or volunteer for at events, etc. Perhaps being involved in heart work facilitates a faster burnout process if one ignores self-care. By burnout I mean the feeling of exhaustion and frustration that can occur when dealing with an overload of work with effects of neglecting one’s own needs. I come home tired and a little cranky. I don’t sleep as much as I’d like. My diet mostly consists of convenience foods; for me, tortilla chips and salsa. I feel like I never have enough time to do anything well and I rarely have time to play.

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Summer 2015 at Mt. Rainier National Park cheesing out on nature.

In order for me to care for others and give my very best, I need to find time to take care of myself. As I sit and reflect on the things that contribute to fostering balance and inner quietude, I think of the tall conifers swaying in the wind during a walk today through Kubota Gardens with my husband and dog. Ripples of water radiating outwards from a spot in the pond where a bufflehead abruptly vanishes underwater and resurfaces as it feeds underwater. Or, the feeling of warm sunshine on my face while lying on the pebbled shore of Lake Wenatchee last weekend alongside my best girlfriends reveling in each other’s presence in silence underneath the peak of Dirty Face. I can almost smell the cool sweet breeze carrying the scent of Nootka Rose and other wildflowers while hiking the trails of Mt. Rainier National Park.

Starting out in the environmental field in my twenties brings memories of hard physical labor, exhaustion, and joy. The feeling of sore muscles after a day of trail building or invasive plant removal brought me a sense of satisfaction. The mud and sweat streaked on my face, the spiders and twigs in my hair and soil under my fingernails made me happy. As did a hot shower at the end of the day! I realize that time in nature is what I need to be whole.

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My grandmother Maria Irma Rodriguez or Gramma Mema.

When I think about the moments where I have been the happiest they center on being outdoors. Even as a child the memories that bring a sense of calm or home for me include walking through my grandma’s garden as she taught me the names of the flowers she planted; peony, marigold, tulip, geranium, black-eyed Susan. Reading books on a blanket lain out in my parent’s backyard, my toes buried in the lush green grass of our lawn. Swinging on the branches of the willow tree in our yard with my brother Louie, seeing who could swing the farthest. When I close my eyes and think back on these memories, I remember joy, giddiness, and a shared feeling of energy and peace. With this sense of calm comes a connection with the world, with myself, and with my heritage.

My Gramma Yolanda taught me the difference between a perennial and a biennial plant. My Gramma Mema taught me to always have Sábila (Aloe Vera) and Manzanilla (Chamomile) in my house. Sábila to sooth burns, bug bites, and skin irritations. Manzanilla to aid with sleep, assuage the symptoms of cough or fever, or to ward of nightmares. My Grampa Luis and Grampa Chável taught me the virtue of hard work outdoors with my hands through the examples they set working outdoors from sun up to sun down to provide for their families. My family has always had ties and connections to the land y cuando estoy afuera, me siento como que estoy con my familia, mis antepasados. I feel that I am reconnected with myself.

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Sunset at the Granite Mountain fire lookout in Washington.

Lylianna Allala

Seattle Ambassador

lylianna@latinooutdoors.org